I think Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we can identify their corporate sponsors...
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
some text codes for seniors
The kids have all their little codes...like BFF, LOL, etc. So here are some codes for seniors
- my dad needs these...once he figures out how to text:
ATD - At the Doctor's
BFF - Best Friends Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM - Covered by Medicare
CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center
DWI - Driving While Incontinent
FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
FYI - Found Your Insulin
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL - Living on LipitorLWO - Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR - On My Massage Recliner
OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas
ROFL...CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!
TTYL - Talk to You Louder
WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again
WTP - Where's the Prunes
WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil
HTH - Hope there’s help!
GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in
CRS- Can't remember shit!!
- my dad needs these...once he figures out how to text:
ATD - At the Doctor's
BFF - Best Friends Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM - Covered by Medicare
CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center
DWI - Driving While Incontinent
FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
FYI - Found Your Insulin
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL - Living on LipitorLWO - Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR - On My Massage Recliner
OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas
ROFL...CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!
TTYL - Talk to You Louder
WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again
WTP - Where's the Prunes
WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil
HTH - Hope there’s help!
GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in
CRS- Can't remember shit!!
Sunday, August 28, 2011
dumb-ass signs
 |
| good to know... |
 |
| what?? |
 |
| good to know...thank god it's in writing |
 |
| good spelling.... |
 | |
| okaaaayyy |
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
cool story bro
Road Rage
The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, ”I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him.
I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally I assumed you had stolen the car.”
The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, ”I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him.
I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally I assumed you had stolen the car.”
Monday, August 22, 2011
'Basically it's the male version of a boob job.'
too busy to eat...yeah, that works
wolfing down my breakfastnowlunch because I'm so busy blogging/fb'ing and thinking that even if I kept up this Victoria Beckham diet (read in falsetto tone: I'm So Busy I Forget To Eat BullSh*t Diet TeeHee), I'd still look like I ate 2 whole Victoria Beckhams...or even 3)
answering machine
must get new machine - disjointed man's voice is answering my phone and scaring friends away...actually not a bad thing when it's telemarketers...
The Help
Must-see-chick-flick are words I would never use but have to here...
Constantinople, Concertina, Can'trememberthename, that character is played by a very happy surprise.
Constantinople, Concertina, Can'trememberthename, that character is played by a very happy surprise.
The Help part 2
Terrific movie
My 13-yr-old exclaimed that she "remembers all this from History class!"
Yay, tuition pays off at last...
Took every bone in my body not to say "Mhmmm, see?"
e v e r y b o n e...
My 13-yr-old exclaimed that she "remembers all this from History class!"
Yay, tuition pays off at last...
Took every bone in my body not to say "Mhmmm, see?"
e v e r y b o n e...
Sunday, August 21, 2011
I hate....
Movies on a Sunday afternoon in my neighborhood: altekehkers galore with be-a-u-tiful butts passing waytoocloseinfrontofmyface as they go down the row...
NOOOOOOO!!! not EVEN Carlos...
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